I am enough. Its the mantra that helped me stay alive, got me through many panic attacks, major depression, anxiety and guided me through the hardest years of my life (along with a lot of help). I never believed it when I started saying it but I needed something to focus on when I was going out of my mind. Even now I say it to myself when I’m doing something that I find challenging- like walking in to a crowded room or when I see people I would prefer not to see (difference is now I believe it!).
The words sound simple enough but they are layered with meaning. I am enough- just as I am- without having to be anything more or anything less. I don’t need to hide who I am and I don’t need anything to boost me up. As I am- is more than enough. I’ve had to do some serious work to get here- its taken three years of intense healing, of finding my feet, of being thrown into a life that I could never have imagined. I’ve suffered, I’ve grieved, I’ve lost, and I’m here- exactly where I am supposed to be. Whole, happy, content, inspired and full of love.
It may sound as though this mantra and belief is just for my benefit. But its not- its much bigger than just being about me. it has changed the context of my life. You see when I say and belief ‘I AM ENOUGH’. I’m also saying to everyone else that you are also enough – just as you are. I accept myself completely and I accept you completely. Its changed everything and it has enabled me to re-connect back to Spirit and align with my higher self.
When I know that I am enough and you are enough I’m not living my life feeling seperate and disconnected. I’m not in my head thinking about how others have hurt and betrayed me, or let me down. I’m not constantly judging those around me or saying one thing out loud and thinking the opposite in my head, I’m not criticising those that I love, I’m not questioning myself and others (why hasn’t she answered my text, what have I done to upset her), I’m not wasting time and energy on worrying about what others think of me, or living in my head wondering why I don’t get as much attention as others. I’m not worrying about things that might go wrong, or upsetting others, I’m not trying to control every part of my life.
Because, while all of these things seem to matter- in the big picture- they really don’t. Getting sick gives you that perspective, its a wake up call. I think about all of the energy I used to waste on these things and when I was close to death these were the things I wondered why I had wasted so much time fretting about. They keep us ground in fear instead of living in love.
That doesn’t mean I never feel sad because of another persons actions- I do- but now I know how to feel this and let it go, I don’t hold on to it for an excessive amount of time. I can now say when somebody upsets me ‘Okay, this is more about them then it is about me- what is their fear, what is actually happening for them?’. Because I know when you feel good about yourself and when your happy in your life you don’t treat others poorly. We waste so much time on things that are out of our control because we feel like others shouldn’t treat us in ways that aren’t great- and they shouldn’t-but they are also giving us a gift to learn more about ourselves. When you come from the mindset of I AM ENOUGH you can let others actions wash over you without letting them define your life and your happiness. We always have a choice- to stay stuck or to move forward. I will always move forward.