You can imagine the life you want, you know how you want to be living, you can picture it so easily in your mind. It seems so easy until you remember all of the obstacles in your way. Its easy to come up with a million excuses why you can’t be living this life – its easy to blame it on your lack of funds, your responsibilities and all of the barriers in the way (my dad would kill me if I don’t finish my degree, my wife wants to have another baby, I can’t just walk away from my job I have a mortgage and mouths to feed, I’m not smart enough). And while all of these ‘excuses’ may in some way seem valid, its much easier to blame your lack of action on these reasons rather than confronting the real issue.
You now when you go for a job interview, or a first date, or your meeting up with a new group of friends? Your vulnerable and exposed and you think you have to make a good impression on others. And while there are many ways to boost yourself – most of them have to do with the ego- to make yourself feel more comfortable..the truth is what you are trying to cover is the self-doubt that you feel inside. It sounds something like this ‘I can’t really do this, I’ll never get the job, what if they don’t like me, I’m sure there will be somebody better than me, I’ve not got that much to offer’. Its the tiny voice in the back of your head that comes out when your about to do something that really matters- and the more you try to drown it out the louder it becomes (hence the boosting- little white lies/drinking/money/who you know etc).
You know when your talking to someone and they try to boost you up- maybe your partner, your parent, a friend and they tell you how much they believe in you, how great you are, how much you have to offer, that all you have to do is believe in yourself and your nodding your head in agreement but the whole time your hearing this voice within saying ‘YOUR NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO DO THIS’ & ‘I CAN’T DO IT’.
ITS THIS. This is what you need to confront. Its this ingrained belief you have about yourself that has been deeply implanted by your parents, teachers, coaches, relatives, friends, ex partners and society (telling you in some way that you need to be more, do better, achieve etc). This belief that you are not enough as you are- this is what keeps us stuck in fear and forces us to forgo our dreams about who we can become. This is how we stay stuck in the lower energies of ego, hiding behind our roles, identities and other people. This is why we convince ourselves that our lives are fine because we are safe in the jobs that we have, that our relationships really are fine (when their absolutely mediocre and we deserve more), this is why we allow other people to convince us that our dreams are silly and not worth the risk. Because at our core- we don’t believe in ourselves and we don’t know how to escape this belief.
But when you realign with Spirit, when you choose love over fear, when you confront all of the beliefs that you have about yourself and start changing the story, when you become your own friend instead of constantly beating yourself up with your stories of lack and insignificance, when you start BELIEVING that you YOU really do matter- thats when the magic begins.